I Wanna Hold Your Hand (Lennon/McCartney)

Been in a sort of funk today. As I thought about it driving around tonight I think it is a combination of many things.

1) Eating badly over the last week - to much red meat, sugar & caffeine .

2) I'm not in charge of anything this summer - weird .

3) Usually at this time I would be searching for educational material for the new year but since I'm not homeschooling any more that is not happening.

4) I haven't gone to church for the last couple weeks but I really didn't want to because I'm feeling out of touch there, like I can't be my true self.

5) I know I'm supposed to do something else with my life but I don't know what it is yet.

6) I'm ready for a new change of living environment, I like the country but I'm sort of over it.

7) It is strange not having Rob around during the week, and starting to wear on me a little bit being the only parent in authority ALL the time.

Seriously if all I had to do was sleep, watch 24, and wander around taking pictures I could be cool with that. But I think my family would start to take issue not having food, clean clothes, rides to places, etc. I just have no motivation. If I knew someone that had prescription medication to "pick me up" I'd try it right now.

On the way home tonight Alex and I were talking about choices, opportunities, college, jobs, etc. She told me she has "it all planned out," her life that is. I told her, "I had a plan to when I was your age and you know what, everything I have right now, none of it was in the plan." I'm not saying what I have now is bad, just different than what I thought my life would be. Very different.