Tuesday, January 05, 2010
To Bummed to Blog
Not feeling to swell as this new year starts, more like I feel I went 10 rounds and lost miserably, or like I tied one on and can't remember where my car is, my keys are, where I left my purse or who brought me home last night, I feel like I'm damned if I do and I'm damned if I don't, I can't stop randomly crying in the middle of whatever I'm doing, I feel like I don't have anyone nonpartisan I can talk to, then I feel like I'm no good to talk to anyone anyway and burden them with my stupid concerns, I'm just glad the kids are in school during the day so they don't see me this way all the time, by the time they get home I can pull it together to put on a happy face, give them dinner and go over homework, but beyond that I'm pretty much toast. I just want to help my mom get back to 100% but I feel powerless; I just want my husband and I to quit being at odds with each other but yet it continues; I'd just like my teenager to show a little respect but I'll probably never get it; I just need to get over it I guess and go on, but to where?
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3 comments:
I understand you completely. Hopefully it is just the winter doldrums. This morning, I couldn't remember how to spell "committee"...I had to google it. This is just a season for you, for me, for all of us. You really truly aren't alone in how you feel. You aren't being stupid, and your concerns for your sanity aren't unnecessary. I will pray for you, and we will live through this muck together.
You are loved.
\IiiI
I discovered your site via Penny and read a few down to get to know you a bit better. :) I wanted to comment on this post in particular because it appears you are dealing with an abundance of emotions at the moment.
I'm so sorry to hear your mother is ill....I can't imagine what that must be like for you. To me, that alone would be enough to throw me off track.
I did want to offer a small ray of light perhaps regarding your teenaged daughter. I have two....15 and 18. There have been times I could have happily dropped them both off a bridge somewhere. :) The 15 year old is still plucking my last nerve, but my 18 year old...we have a really good relationship now. It was gradual, but you will begin to notice little by little, something has changed. I think I noticed the greatest change after she turned 18. I think we all went through it. They are like hormonal times bombs without directions on how to deal with it. Don't give up hope on the respect...I think it is coming. :)
Thanks Debbie for the encouragement. My teenage daughter and I do have moments of camaraderie but being that she is a Senior this is the time for the dreaded senioritis to kick in. She's good kid overall and trust me I know compared to some nightmares I hear other parents explain. As with most things, emotions are temporary and subject to change, thank goodness. I'm already feeling on an upswing.
Hugs back to you too Penny, much obliged to know I am not as despised as I thought. :)
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