For Everything There is a Season

My oldest child, my daughter, was home-schooled from Kindergarten through 8th Grade. My approach was pretty laid back; she did a lot of learning by osmosis. Weekly trips to the library, hours of educational computer ‘games’ (she started using the computer at age 2), frequent visits to nature centers, and participation in many physical activities such as gymnastics and creative movement kept us plenty busy. I never followed a set curriculum but instead used mostly workbooks purchased from the local bookstore (when we did do book work). She mastered keyboarding skills using the Disney Typing Program and in her older years studied various computer design programs (Photoshop, Macromedia Director, Frontpage, etc.). In the tween years she jumped into the world of RPG (role-playing-games) online and started creating her own sites. She entered her writing in several contests, even winning a few, and she became involved in drama at the Flint Youth Theatre. At the age of 6 she was hand picked from a class to play the youngest role of, Ima Dean, in “Where the Lilies Bloom,” to which she received rave reviews. At one point she was a member of no less than five different 4H groups (at one time) and we raised many animals here at Kings Mill Meadows with Alexandra doing a lion’s share of the work. During the younger years teaching from home was great and I wouldn’t trade that time together for the world, but honestly as she got older she became bored and as a mother of a growing family I was not doing the best in keeping up with her need for social entertainment and intellectual stimulation. She wanted to be around kids her own age more, although we did join a home-school co-op she did not quite feel she fit in with the kids there. Her impression was they were sort of geeky. When she first came to me, actually it was during a phone call, and admitted she thought it was time for her to go into public school it was a real blow to my ego. When people would ask me how long we were going to home-school I always replied “to the end” and added that I planned to have her start taking community college classes at 15. But something inside me said ‘you need to respect her choice and have the courage to let her follow through on this decision because if you force the issue and make her stay home and continue to learn from here it will be a big bone of contention between you and you’ll make utterly no progress at all.’ Alex explained to me she did not feel comfortable jumping into formal education at the college level and wanted to have some experience in a formal setting before then. So, should I look at the situation as “giving up” by deciding to put her in public high school? Did I “give in” to the desire of a teenager, throwing aside parental desires? No. I respected my daughter’s opinion, discussed it with her and my husband at length, prayed, and ultimately choose to let her have responsibility in the decisions regarding her own education. There were issues concerning the “influence” of her peers at first, but thankfully she has a good head on her shoulders and has kept her morals and standards in tact. She has made good friends and is a good friend. Grade-wise she struggles in some classes but it is more a matter of taking on so many activities she gets spread too thin (hmm wonder where she gets that from). Would she have done better if she was in the school system from the start, probably not. I tested well above average on standard achievement tests during my academic career but my grades were all over the place depending on whether or not I enjoyed the subject matter or teacher and Alexandra has pretty much followed suit there. When I ask her now will she home-school her own kids she replies emphatically, “No.” Further prompting as to why she’ll explain it is just too much work and she doesn’t want to take that on, she wants to work a regular job. Oddly, what she is talking about being currently is a high school drama/literature teacher. Go figure.

Thankfully we have the freedom to choose how our children are educated. There is no cut and dried, right and wrong answer. One size, does not fit all and it saddens me when home-schooling mothers, especially Christian home-schoolers, condemn the public/private school and public/private school students/teachers. They speak so negatively about it their children are scared to come and have an honest conversation with them about possibly wanting to try regular school. While I think it is wonderful to cast off convention, be a free spirit, an innovative thinker, and self-starter, there will come a time in every person’s life that they need to “get with the program” whether it is in college, trade school, or an employment situation. They will need to learn how to get along with others, deal with different personalities, take a stand when necessary or just shut their mouth and do what the boss asks. In either arena there are those that do exceptionally well raising the standards for all that follow and some who fall far short of expectations. I could tell you stories about home-schoolers that are totally unprepared for life in the real world, over sheltered, and never held accountable and other tales about some that have gone above and beyond what one would imagine any teenager could possibly accomplish. The same scenarios can be applied to “government schooled” kids. The bottom line is, as a parent we want the best for our babies and sometimes that means making tough choices and hoping for the best.

Learning from home has been an awesome experience overall, but I also lean on the expectation that public schooling will be a positive undertaking for my family and myself. Everything won’t be roses and gumdrops but I trust I’ve laid a solid foundation for my boys, as I did Alexandra, and I pray they will have inspiring teachers, be exceptional students, make good friends, be influential leaders in their class, and take full advantage of all opportunities that will allow them to accomplish all they dream to. No, I am most certainly not giving up, I’m going on. For everything there is a season.