Finality

This is a year of many endings in the Parton family and with endings comes new beginnings. Sunday was Alex's last time on platform in the main sanctuary with the youth group for a Youth Sunday. Although she'll sing with the group throughout the summer on Wednesdays, when the next fifth Sunday rolls around she will be away at college.

After church the whole gang headed down to mother's house for one last time to finish getting the last of the stuff out of the house and pull a few perennials from the garden. I was glad to have everyone with me because I don't think I could have done this last run on my own even though trips prior I worked solo. It was an odd feeling to see the place completely devoid of personality. I know it's just a house but it was a house mother loved and made many ammendments to, a house I cleaned for years, a house the boys did chores at for gramma, a house where we had meals and played games around the dining room table, a place I did my computer work from while she did activities with the boys. We enjoyed the community pool with gramma and all the community events downtown, the kids trick-or-treated there, we went to free concerts, and just loved running up to Starbucks or Kroger. My family had an emotional investment in that place because it was connected to mom/gramma and it kills me to just let it go to the bank. Yes, it's just a house but it is full of memories that thankfully are also recorded in my heart and mind as well as my kids' and husband's. Out of all the harrowed years I've been through with my mother the years she lived there were probably the best we'd had.

Before loading up and locking it down for good we had a toast with a bottle of Sparkling Cider and each went around to say a thanks to gramma, the memories, etc. Even Jake came with us, he loved taking walks around the neighborhood and being spoiled by gramma. No where else was he allowed to sleep on the bed!

I'm not sure which stage of the grieving process I'm on. I don't seem to be running through them in order but I do know that if it weren't for my kids and a husband who is doing his utter best to be supportive and understanding during his own grief I'd be going absolutely nowhere right now. I forget that Rob had a connection to Judi as well as I did, he respected her very much and loved to debate with her. She was one of the few people that could hold her own to his strong set opinions and one of the fewer still that could shed a new light to make him see things differently, albeit not often. Wednesday is Alex's high school graduation, it will be a bittersweet day. I'll try to keep my chin up for her because she's worked hard and is excited to be done and moving on to bigger and better opportunities at GVSU but there will definately be a void in the festivities.

Closing the door on an era and waiting for a window to open....