Think For Yourself (Harrison)

For the month of July I’ve decided to title all my posts after Beatles songs. My brother’s recent gift of music had me reflecting regrettably about selling off my music collection. I went through a time thinking that I had to do away with secular music and listen only to Christian material so as to better serve God. As I wrestled with this regret I came across the teachings in ‘Meditations from the Mat’ about brahmacarya or temperance which is often confused with repression, avoidance or abstinence, an act which in and of itself is cause to set us up for unrest. Rolf and Katherine point out that “Despite the staggering amount of evidence that excess destroys our dreams, there appears to be a human blind spot when it comes to the possibility that our most passionate existence might actually be accessed through balance and moderation. Once we actually start to bring brahmacarya into our lives, we find that this yama is about truly following one’s heart. We see that the chaos of immoderation brings us pain and anguish – and that the calm, clear energy released by moderation actually affords us the opportunity to realize all our dreams.”

Excess or repression in any area, food, religion, exercise, alcohol, prescription drugs, relationships, computer use, hobbies, or musical influence, can cause our inner peace to falter. During the past year I came to a place of total unrest because I had overextended myself, felt that I never had enough time in the day to accomplish what I needed to, and feared that what I did accomplish was not up to the quality I like to uphold. Not only was I suffering but the people around me suffered as well. I pressed through and made some tough decisions that eventually lightened my load and restored balance to where I can feel comfortable going about the day’s agenda with attainable goals and satisfaction from what is accomplished. Years ago I turned to religion to help find some peace in my, what felt like, unfulfilled life. It worked for a while but then even my experience with religion came to a place of discomfort because it was driving me to become something that I comfortably wasn’t. People absorbed in some religious communities feel compelled to live a perfect, pure, unshattered life; be like Jesus they mantra. There is and only will be one Jesus so we should just accept ourselves as he accepted us for who we are and realize that we can never be him. Let’s face it, he did a great job and none can compare. Natural laws are built with their own limits of expansion and contraction; a rubber band will only stretch so far before it ultimately snaps or returns to its former state. I felt compelled through the teachings of my church to cut out all secular music so I could be more pure and do God’s work and find the destiny He had for me. I love music, always have, listened to all kinds of music throughout my life, pop, rock, jazz, country, gospel, even some metal and performed vocally and instrumentally many genres as well. It was moving, cathartic, inspiring, took my mind to new limits, made me consider things in a fresh light, and drove my creative juices. While Christian songs and soaking music filled me for a while there came a point where it became boring, stagnant, and redundant. I went through a period where I didn’t even listen to music. Then I listened to only instrumental jazz because I didn’t even want to hear words just rhythm. I’ve connected again with my belief that all music comes from a higher power and will now allow myself to listen again to what feeds my soul and not feel condemned that it’s secular. I can bop to the Beatles, rock out to VanHalen, ooo baby, baby with Motown artists, snap my fingers along with some crazy jazz, rap with Run DMC, or praise with Martha Munizzi, all with peace in my heart. Because music is what helps me feel right with the world and denying myself put a barrier within me that reached far beyond my ears. There are still areas in my life that need balance, being aware is the first step to getting there. Besides He made me in the first place and put the love of music in me, right?



Sunday before I left for my mom's house Rob, Alex and I did a quick loop around the freshly mown trail in the back of the property. I started picking some cute little pink wildflowers then added some wild daisies. Rob began selecting other varieties to add color. Here is a picture of our mutual arrangement.