In true Judi fashion I purposed to take as many pictures as I could of family and friends. Since her request was not to be laid out but instead be cremated immediately it gave an entirely different vibe to the whole visitation. Although people were sad and sorry the overall atmosphere was light and filled with happy stories of Judi-ness.
The only off set was that none of her family, my aunts or cousins spoke to me, not one word the entire seven hours of visitation or at the funeral. This was mind-blowing to me, unfathomable, totally unacceptable and would not have pleased mother at all. They did however speak with James and my sister-in-law Shelly. No worries, it was a big room and there were lots of people. There were friends from all walks of life, grade school, high school, people she taught with, church friends, ladies she volunteered with at the soup kitchen, someone from St. Vincent DePaul brought a plague to honor her as a Jubilian for all her service stating they'd need 5 people to replace her.
Our neighbor from down the street growing up, Julie (Dusty) Torres, flanked by myself and my brother James.
From my Dad's side, Uncle Ken, Aunt Phyllis, cousin Vince and wife Bernadette, his mom Aunt Jan and me.
Two sisters I went to high school with, Julia Salerno (left) was in my grade and an elementary school playmate and her sister Paula who was a couple years ahead in school was mentored by my mom in many ways as she took on responsibilities as Union Steward for the district. A quote from Paula about my mom, "You may not always like what Judi had to say, but you had to respect her, she was a smart cookie and knew her stuff. She would never ask anything of you that she wasn't prepared to step up to herself."
Again from Dad's side (his family always loved mom, even after the divorce), Great Aunt Marge, cousin Deb, Great Aunt Vi
<--Sheri (Moskowitz) Noga a friend & confidant from my harrowed teen years. Bernadette, a dear friend of mom's from St. Ambrose->
The aerobics ladies! Sue, Andra and Anita who brought food over twice a week during the final lap of the journey and prayed diligently with and for mother throughout the entire ordeal. I now consider them all friends myself. [Ethan took this picture.]
The Tangles girls! My friend, whom I've known since high school, Anna (Natasy) Thaut, the only hairdresser I'll ever go to and Becky DiBella who did mother's hair for years and transitioned into a friend as well.
My buddy and sounding board, Jan Klisz, whom I inherited through marriage and has been there through thick and thin.
My niece Nichole, my brother-in-law Paul Anthony, my sister-in-law Julie and the soon-to-be high school graduate and my mini-me, Alexandra Elizabeth!
Friends from The Path, Shelly and Frank Sollars.
High school chums, Julie (Walbrecht) Hiotaky and Sue (Poma) Hawkins who blessed me so much by driving in from Antioch, IL with her fabulous hubby Steve.
My cousin Ken and his wife Linda who lost her mother to lung cancer earlier the same week we lost Judi, so we are kindred spirits in mourning and knowing the joy of seeing someone released from suffering.
Fox Robert Parton rockin' a new suit and super cool sunglasses.
<--Benjamin Atticus (age 10)
Ethan Daniel -->
(age 8)
A final photo of the estuary with a candle placed by Benjamin to represent gramma's light shining down on us for ever, and a white rose placed by Ethan symbolizing gramma's pure love that will continue to grow in our hearts.
The Luncheon afterward was graciously hosted by a fellow retired teacher and friend of mom's Dorothy Wassinger. It was a casual affair with yummy cold salads, no alcohol and lots of mingling, which was mother's signature style. Of course after my brother's truthful and heartfelt eulogy my aunts were no longer speaking to him. They came in and made an embarrassingly quick exit causing all mom's friends and neighbors plus family from Dad's side to inquire of my brother and I as to what the matter was. Typical of the sisters Pesto was all we could reply.
Long time friends of mom's from her college years, Judy and Ray Holland and John and Georgia Boyse. They were a great blessing during those final weeks, Judy and Georgia came over one day with lunch and had a wonderful visit with their friend. Mother appreciated all the calls and visits from everyone and it really helped keep her going. I wanted to have a big "celebrate life" party to get people together before the funeral but when I talked to her about it she said it would be too depressing and awkward. She was better off visiting with people one on one or in small groups. One evening a group of teachers from Salk Elementary, where mom used to teach, stopped by and serenaded her with songs that they changed the lyrics too, inserting her name wherever they could. It was quite a hoot and she loved it.
This last photo has two of mother's main stays in town. Mr. Gary (boyfriend Gary my brother and I started referring to him as) who was the BMOC of the Starbucks crew and dear to mom's heart. The morning before she went unresponsive she asked to see Gary. So at 5:30 in the morning I called his cell, he was over within half an hour. I'm not sure exactly what she told him because I let them have privacy but what I gathered from her request was she just wanted to thank him for being such a good friend. She really loved him a lot and thought the world of him. Next to him is her across the street neighbor Jackie who went through everything with us, and I mean everything, she helped take care of the pets, the house, mom, us, you name it. She is a fabulous human being and a great blessing. Words cannot express my gratitude to these fine individuals.
--
(age 8)
A final photo of the estuary with a candle placed by Benjamin to represent gramma's light shining down on us for ever, and a white rose placed by Ethan symbolizing gramma's pure love that will continue to grow in our hearts.
The Luncheon afterward was graciously hosted by a fellow retired teacher and friend of mom's Dorothy Wassinger. It was a casual affair with yummy cold salads, no alcohol and lots of mingling, which was mother's signature style. Of course after my brother's truthful and heartfelt eulogy my aunts were no longer speaking to him. They came in and made an embarrassingly quick exit causing all mom's friends and neighbors plus family from Dad's side to inquire of my brother and I as to what the matter was. Typical of the sisters Pesto was all we could reply.
Left side photo: Sue and Steve Hawkins, Rob and myself, Alex and Ben
Right side: Fox Robert, my dad Dennis, Dorothy W., Alex, Me, Ethan, and Joe Lentini Jr.
Long time friends of mom's from her college years, Judy and Ray Holland and John and Georgia Boyse. They were a great blessing during those final weeks, Judy and Georgia came over one day with lunch and had a wonderful visit with their friend. Mother appreciated all the calls and visits from everyone and it really helped keep her going. I wanted to have a big "celebrate life" party to get people together before the funeral but when I talked to her about it she said it would be too depressing and awkward. She was better off visiting with people one on one or in small groups. One evening a group of teachers from Salk Elementary, where mom used to teach, stopped by and serenaded her with songs that they changed the lyrics too, inserting her name wherever they could. It was quite a hoot and she loved it. This last photo has two of mother's main stays in town. Mr. Gary (boyfriend Gary my brother and I started referring to him as) who was the BMOC of the Starbucks crew and dear to mom's heart. The morning before she went unresponsive she asked to see Gary. So at 5:30 in the morning I called his cell, he was over within half an hour. I'm not sure exactly what she told him because I let them have privacy but what I gathered from her request was she just wanted to thank him for being such a good friend. She really loved him a lot and thought the world of him. Next to him is her across the street neighbor Jackie who went through everything with us, and I mean everything, she helped take care of the pets, the house, mom, us, you name it. She is a fabulous human being and a great blessing. Words cannot express my gratitude to these fine individuals.--
It's been quite a journey and one I wouldn't trade for the world. I will very much miss my mother but I will also purpose to carry on her legacy by impacting and speaking out for the lives of children, giving my time and talents freely, and reaching out to people that I know are in need. I also forgive my family for their terrible behavior as we paid our last respects to a wonderful lady, may they somehow make peace within themselves.
--
This however will be my final blog post. In light of recent events I do not feel as though I want to share my life publicly for the time being. Those that truly know me and care about me are welcome to get a hold of me and be a part of my life. These are the ones I will hold dear in my heart and I am happy to say that I now consider many of mother's friends my friends as well. God is good all the time and his mercy endures forever. May you be continuously blessed with challenges and accomplishments in your life. I know I have much to be thankful for.
1 comment:
Sounds lovely. We did Dons' dads' funeral the same way and it was lovely. My parents funerals, well, nevermind lol. My phone did go off during my dads' funeral, playing the "Mario Bros." theme. Seemed appropriate since he heard that song so much during the 80's.
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